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How often do you hear someone say, “I have enough time”? Are you kidding me? When you ask someone how they are, they answer, “I am busy” or “I never have enough time”, right? We say this without thinking. Is this the default position we live in? Should we think more about time? Or should we think differently about time? Should we manage our time better? Or is it something else?

Being busy is fine. As long as you do something that you like or value, most of the time (oops).

Being idle or bored is not fine, assuming that this is not your hobby.

But never having enough time? That is scary. And that is wrong. Technically wrong. Everyone has time. Everyone has the same amount of time. 24 hours per day, 7 days per week and 365 days per year, give or take. Time is just there, as capacity to be filled. And that’s where our challenge is. Filling it with the right things-to-do. So, maybe it’s more about quality than about quantity?

This reminds me of an organisation that was working efficiently. They were always on time, producing, delivering, handling customer complaints… Until they went bankrupt. Because they successfully executed bad plans. They were efficient. But they were not effective. They did not do the right things. They did not produce, deliver and handle things that people liked or valued.

This is even more obvious in our personal world, e.g. when you visit a retirement village for a chat with one of the sweet, grey ladies. They used to be busy when they were young, raising their children (more than we have now), running their household (more manual with less technology than we have now) and getting around shopping (more on foot than we do now). Now, some of them spend their time waiting for family to visit. We all have good intentions to visit them, but we are too busy, right? Come on, admit it! But some of them are still busy, organising their social groups, going away for day trips, gardening, playing Sudoku and doing their hair. Just in case family shows up…

Some of the chats I have with them make me happy. Chats filled with stories about the things they have done in their lives. Their glories and celebrations. Not having regrets what they have done. Even looking forward to what may still come. Like a wedding that I attended between two 85-year-olds.

But some of the chats I have with them make me sad. Chats filled with stories with tears. Having regrets about the things they have not done in their lives. Just waiting for it to end. So sad. Do they have too much time? Should they manage their time better? Or is it something else?

Let’s compare time with space. Time as a capacity to be filled with things to do. And space as a capacity to be filled with stuff. It’s interesting to see, that people with a lot of space, like a house with a huge basement or attic, tend to fill that space with stuff. On the other hand, more people move towards a minimalist lifestyle, with less stuff, less clutter in their space and in their life. They may move into a smaller house, not requiring the space. Or they may stay in the same house, like one of my friends. When I called him recently and noticed him talking with an echo, he replied, “I have refurnished my house with quietness”. He still had a lot of space but filled it with something with higher priority. Brilliant! Could this also apply to time?

Do you know people who seem to have all the time in the world? Even with a demanding job, social life and family. Amazing! How do they do this? Are they more organised? Are they less committed?

Other people seem to run around all the time. Being busy. Or looking busy. Even with a less demanding job, limited social life and being single. Are they less organised? Are they more easily distracted? But I also notice that some of them still know everything that was on television the night before. That’s also amazing! In a different way.

These observations are probably the reasons that time management gets so much attention. Popular articles about this topic talk about tools and techniques to ‘manage’ our time. But they rarely solve the problem of our busy-ness. Also, ‘manage’, according to the English dictionary, means ‘control’ or ‘be in charge of’ and I don’t think we can control time (yet). So, maybe we should not call a potential solution ‘time management’. Maybe we should try to solve our problem closer to ourselves and our things-to-do. Because these are the variable components that we can try to manage, not time. Time is fixed and passes. Time is valuable, but it’s just there, to be filled. We can visualise this:

So, it’s quite simple. If you don’t have enough time, you want to do too many things, to fill the capacity that is the same for all of us, rich or poor, busy or bored. I would go even further than this. I think that the list of things-to-do is the same for all of us. We just like or value things differently. Consequently, we prioritise things-to-do differently, based on ourselves. Our self is the one and only source of our busy-ness and perceived challenges with time.

The tricky bit is that we prioritise implicitly and unconsciously most of the time (oops again). We tend to do the things we do because we have done it like that for years. Because we do not explicitly and consciously understand ourselves and prioritise our things-to-do and use our time accordingly.

I notice this in my coaching practice. People tend to use a lot of time doing things that do not bring them closer to their real personal and professional goals, even when they rate these goals as very important (8 or 9 on a scale from 0 to 10).

Personal coaching helps get the best out of them, to understand who they are, what is important to them and what their (perceived) constraints are, to prioritise their things-to-do. Maybe you always fill your space with stuff and run around? Or maybe you fill your space with quietness and have all the time in the world? Either way, tools and techniques do not give you this fundamental understanding. Step 1 will bring quality and effectiveness in your life, the best source for health and happiness.

Technical tooling helps so-called ‘time management’. But don’t even think about this before you understand yourself and your priorities. Tools and techniques can make your life easier but do not fundamentally solve the problem of your busy-ness. Step 2 will ‘only’ bring quantity and efficiency.

Although I highly value step 1, I do not discount step 2 and use tools and techniques myself. But do they support both effort and duration? And what does wasting time mean? And can things-not-to-do be useful? Let me gather my thoughts on this and come back to you. I have always enjoyed cliff-hangers anyway…

Oh, and visit a sweet, grey lady, maybe your mother or granny. I have heard that she has just done her hair. For you. Although she was busy. Very busy.

Did this reflection make you think, tease or provoke? Please let me know. Feel free to share.

CONCLUSION

Time management? It’s a great intention to solve the problem of our busy-ness. But time cannot be managed. It’s capacity to be filled. Please do me a favour. Try to understand yourself and prioritise the things-to-do that really matter to you first. Otherwise you are wasting your time. Very valuable time. It’s just there, for grabs. But it’s also ticking away. So, however you spend it, you better make it worthwhile. And don’t tell me that you don’t have time for this, while you still know everything that was on television last night. And don’t even think about tools and techniques to ‘manage’ your time before you understand yourself and your priorities. I am happy to help.

Interested? Excited? Scared? All of this? Let’s continue to reflect, learn and share our bright thoughts.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bob is director at The Executive Nomad (www.execnomad.com). He delivers value around the world, as an (interim) executive, consultant, and coach, both physically onsite and virtually online. Bob has been in more than hundred countries so far and continues to learn more about the world and himself.

ABOUT OUR REFLECTIONS

Reflections from The Executive Nomad playfully explore contemporary topics and aim to make you think. They are always teasing, sometimes provoking, but never judging.